Sit and Kick

Defined as a strategy for pacing – a runner is meant to ‘sit’ in the back of the pack, letting others take the effort and the pace. At the right moment, the runner is then meant to ‘kick’ and sprint past the other competitors in order to win the race.

At times experiences like high school, college, a first job, or moving away from a home seem to focus on its finality. This focus often misses the point of experiences in the first place: the process and living in the moment. The ceremonious finality that comes with graduating represents that last kick, whooshing as fast as you can to the end. With this, however, the anticipation for its culmination is intertwined with the idea of waiting. Waiting for the time to put yourself out there, for the last moments to try something new, or for the chance finally shape who you will grow into for the future. But waiting for the last moment to experience all that college holds can negate the joys of the present, and when that present feels lost or taken away, the realization that these important moments have already passed be heartbreaking.

In this work, I explore the concepts of loss, isolation, and loneliness that comes in periods of transition away from moments of rapid growth. This represents an extension of past work that circles the physical and mental aspects in the sport of running. My subjects are my roommates who have all shared in common loss of season, graduation, and community. The dedication that we have all given to our sport over the past four years and its sudden stripping away shows these emotions bare. As sport teaches many lessons that apply to life, so does this present circumstance teach us all how to adapt, find new normalcy, and connect with others in living in the present.

Taking inspiration from Gregory Crewdson and Todd Hido I strive to create ethereal and stark scenes that depict these feelings through moments of transition. Shot in and around my apartment with use of camera obscura and mixed lighting, I aim to create disconnected scenes that fragment and show how our collective experiences of waiting have shifted our eyes inward towards finding the value of the present and the process.

From the ‘sitting’ position in the race, it is on the athlete to choose when to ‘kick.’ This spring’s transition to post-collegiate life has given me and my subjects a new chance to evaluate our relationship with the present moment and the choice of when to ‘kick.’